There are times in life when you feel you just don’t fit in. Perhaps it’s a new job, new club, social set or even church. You begin to go quiet and then withdraw like this little guy hiding in the bushes. Other times, everything feels as comfy a fit as an old pair of slippers. Are you feeling Miss/Mr Comfy or Miss/Mr Misfit around something or some people at the moment? If it feels like an awkward question, then something is probably awkward. Often, we will observe people and note their idiosyncrasies but then it’s just as likely that they are observing ours! Maybe most of us can have mild neurodivergent symptoms in the sense of being ‘somewhere’ on the autism spectrum as we process information in a way that is not typical of the majority. Clinically diagnosed autism is chiefly characterized by difficulties with social interaction, communication and by restricted or repetitive patterns of thought and behaviour. It affects a large number of people.
- ‘I’m on the autism spectrum. I don’t usually follow social coding and so therefore I go my own way’ – Greta Thunburg
- ‘I have a condition called Aspergers Syndrome, which is like a mild form of autism. It means I don’t interact properly in certain social situations’ – Gary Numan
- ‘I think the core criterion is the social awkwardness, but the sensory issues are a serious problem in many, many cases of autism, and they make it impossible to operate in the environment where you’re supposed to be social’ – Temple Grandin
- ‘I sometimes think I might be autistic because I like to know – I need to know – my beginnings and my ends. I don’t have to be in control of it, but I need to know what’s going on’ – Clay Aiken
Yorkshireman Roger Hargreaves published the first six ‘Mr. Men’ books 10 August 1971 after his son Adam asked him what a tickle looked like – the series began with ‘Mr. Tickle.’ Roger died from a stroke aged 53 in 1988 but Adam continued to develop the characters with up to 92 Mr. Men and Little Miss characters by 2021 having sold over 100 million copies. These have often been used in helping children with autism. Many famous people have been linked with this – Anthony Hopkins, Daryl Hannah, Emily Dickinson, Bobby Fischer. Multibillionaire Elon Musk announced that he was on the autism spectrum while hosting the show, ‘Saturday Night Live’ in May 2021. Surprisingly, the famous composer Edward Elgar, despite his success, felt himself to be an outsider, not only musically, but also socially. An unlikely ‘misfit’, in the class-conscious society of Victorian and Edwardian Britain, he was acutely sensitive about his humble origins even after he achieved recognition. This was compounded by his Roman Catholicism which was regarded with suspicion in some quarters and led to introspection with him often preferring his own company. It doesn’t take much to feel estranged but it can have a huge effect on us.
Those who follow Christ have often been seen as misfits and marginalised. Christians do march to the beat of a different tune, are often misunderstood and perceived to threaten the prevailing worldview. This is certainly true of Jesus – he mixed with the vulnerable loners, lepers, prostitutes and outcasts like Samaritans with such radical teaching that the authorities had him killed. Jesus taught that to follow him and his teaching would lead to unpopularity akin to taking up a cross but that it was worth it for our time in this world is a short journey to eternity with him.
- ‘The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field. When a man found it, he hid it again, and then in his joy went and sold all he had and bought that field’ – Matthew 13:44
- ‘For here we do not have an enduring city, but we are looking for the city that is to come’ – Hebrews 13:14
- ‘So from now on we regard no one from a worldly point of view. Though we once regarded Christ in this way, we do so no longer. Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!’ – 2 Corinthians 5:16-17
- ‘And he said, “The Son of Man must suffer many things and be rejected by the elders, the chief priests and the teachers of the law, and he must be killed and on the third day be raised to life.” Then he said to them all: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will save it’ – Luke 9:22-24
The temptation is to give up when the going gets tough. Are there those around you who seem to be finding it tough and need your encouragement or an act of kindness? Perhaps you are the one to give it or maybe you are the one needing it. As Jesus reached out to you so you can reach out to others and keep drawing on his grace for your own journey. Remember his words:
‘Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it’ – Matthew 7:12-14
For more reading: Being ignored – Connect4Life
Elgar composed ‘Lux Aeterna’ as a moving piece to reflect on Eternal Light. Here’s a beautiful rendition to reflect on your own journey:
However you’re feeling, whether like you fit in or more like Mr Misfit, God can help you press on towards the light.