If there was a sliding scale between being a bodger or a perfectionist, where would you be? The bodger just gets on with a job without too much planning and preparation. By contrast, the perfectionist can be prone to procrastinate due to the need to think about every aspect of the job. Most of us are somewhere in the middle but have been disappointed by a decorator who has not finished well or frustrated by a work colleague who never gets round to completing a job on time. Some people’s approach to selling a house is to refresh it by slapping a quick layer of paint on or papering over the cracks to hide them.
- ‘My lighter, more superficial side will always steal a march on the deeper side and therefore always win. You can’t imagine how often I’ve tried to push away this Anne, which is only half of what is known as Anne – to beat her down, hide her’ – Anne Frank
- ‘Image is powerful, but image is also superficial’ – Cameron Russell
- ‘If you can understand the inner life, then you can wear the uniform, the tattoos, or whatnot and realize that the things that are different about us become superficial’ – Ethan Hawke
- ‘I am a deeply superficial person’ – Andy Warhol
There are some contexts where the mode is to be superficial, perhaps a party or chance meeting with someone in the street. Yet if you spend long enough with someone, you will begin to see through the external layer. Sometimes it matches the externally projected ‘persona’ which will either satisfy you or annoy you. Other times, you see something that speaks of hypocrisy which most of us find abhorrent. If you want to go deeper in a friendship, it takes time and courage to let the outer veneers be stripped off like the layers of an onion to reveal your heart. Some cultures place a high value on what is genuine but in today’s fast changing life there is so much superficiality that we no longer know what is real and can be trusted.
Marriage is the deepest public commitment two people can make so it is wise to know the other person really well! Online dating often means a disappointment on the first date when discovering an old photo was used by one of the party. Giovanni Vigliotto took deception and superficiality to another level in ‘tricking’ 105 women to marry him between 1949 and 1981 without ever getting divorced! He generally met that at ‘flea markets’ and proposed on the first date so his charm was considerable. None of his wives knew about each other. He married these women across 27 different US states and 14 other countries, using a different fake identity each time. Vigliotto was sentenced to 34 years in prison for fraud and bigamy in 1983. His superficial encounters led to him swindling 105 wives out of their earthly possessions to sell at flea markets across the US. How good are your ‘antennae’ to detect whether someone is going to ‘take you for a ride’ in relationships, trade or the workplace? You need to be able to see beneath the surface as skin deep impressions do not reveal the heart.
Jesus was known as a ‘friend of sinners’ who were genuine with him – prostitutes, crooks and even those who let him down. What he did not accept were those who pretended to be something they were not. Instead he would confront them and their hypocrisy which led to him being unpopular with many powerful people. One young man declared that he wanted to follow Jesus but his heart put his money and wealth first – compassionate though he was, Jesus knew that the rich guy needed to put his money to one side. Mark says in his account: ‘Jesus looked at him and loved him’ but then urged him to give substantially to the poor and then follow him. We all have some obstacles that we need to put to one side if we are to follow or return to following Jesus – things like our hurts, fears, disappointments, obsessions and failures.
- ·‘The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart’ – 1 Samuel 16:7
- ·‘You’re hopeless, you religion scholars and Pharisees! Frauds! You’re like manicured grave plots, grass clipped and the flowers bright, but six feet down it’s all rotting bones and worm-eaten flesh. People look at you and think you’re saints, but beneath the skin you’re total frauds’ – Matthew 23:27 (The Message)
- ·‘Let us tell God about our wrong ways. God can be trusted. He does what is right. He will forgive us for the wrong things we have done. He will make us clean from all that was wrong’ – 1 John 1:9 (Worldwide English)
- ·‘But this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness’ – Lamentations 3: 21-23
No matter if we have played charades, we are totally known and loved by God. He sees straight through any ‘front’ we may put on even if we’ve done this in worship. Matt Redman wrote about that in one of his songs:
I’ll bring You more than a song
For a song in itself
Is not what You have required
You search much deeper within
Through the way things appear
You’re looking into my heart
Why not listen to this and mull over any obstacles between you and God.
If we live in the shallows, we’re only kidding ourselves and may well run aground. Next time you’re decorating, be sure to do a good job and let it remind you of the danger of superficiality.
CHARACTER (connect4life.org.uk)
TAGS – reality, honesty, truth, integrity, character, deceit, deception, openness